I am Santa’s Imaginary Boyfriend.

Dear, sophisticated reader,

you won’t believe it, 1) Coolositable is still not extinct and 2) SANTA IS COMING TO TOWN JAPAN.

As Anna and I have been very busy for the past *goestocheck* 4 months – well actually our whole lives – we haven’t been able to update this blog as much as we hoped to.BUT BUT BUT BUT here is a new post. And it’s utterly positive – not according to expectations.

Balthazar – e.g. I – loves/love Christmas. Or actually the ideal of it. Gaining weight by stuffing ourselves up with cookies – yes, not in that way – eating AND peeling tangerines – exchanging gifts unilaterally or nonlaterally – putting dead corpses into pumpkin soups – drinking Ginger Vodka on the Snow (not on the rocks as during other seasons) – going away  to Barcelona – staying at fabulous, exclusive hotels – throwing snowballs against passing cars and people – and most of all, throwing snowballs at world leaders in Davos (well I admit, that happens only in January) are wonderful activities to keep oneself busy with when passing time in this wonderful time of nice words, hugs, kisses, French kisses, passion, affection, patting, petting, really hard sex against the Christmas tree,  cleaning your chimney with Santa, S/M with Rudolph, Christmas bonda….well just love, right. And CHOCOLATE, LOTS OF CHOCOLATE and GINGER and CRANBERRIES and SNOOOOW. So you see, materialistic lusts evoke great excitement in mankind.

So where is all this leading to? Nothing, apparently. It’s mostly about corporations making inexorably exorbitantly large sums of £,$, ₪, Ft, ₮,,﷼ and mostly CHF. And filling one’s hollow, shallow, wallowed hearts with warmth by buying and cashing and moneyz.

Ahm. Where was I? Yes.

As you may not know, I am currently Santa’s Imaginary Boyfriend and and his muse, that’s why he – the omnipotent Sata… Santa has sent upon us this present:

In this way, I wish everyone a happy beginning of the most materialistic holiday season EVER, and hope you won’t build perverted snowmen and snowwomen.

LOVE and gingerbread,

Balthazar

P.S. Custard-pie battles have been largely accepted in contemporary culture as a new aspect of Christmas.

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